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The Customer Is Very Rarely Right
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Below are the 6 most recent journal entries recorded in Retail Idiots' LiveJournal:

Saturday, April 23rd, 2005
8:00 pm
Video store
"Okay, I need to set up a passcode on your new account."
- "Passcode?"
"Yeah, a password of four characters or a set of four numbers, like the PIN on your cash card..."
Thursday, April 21st, 2005
1:55 pm
au revoir retail!
hello insurance sales +_+

dear stupid customer, i cannot give you quote for your car unless you know what exactly you're driving.


1.i am therefore unable to quote you happy.
2.i will put you on hold while i go for lunch.
3.i will hang up.
4.i will transfer you through to customer services (who will laugh at you)
5.i will transfer you through to customer services in india (who will laugh whilst in a different time zone)
6.i will laugh at you and invite the rest of my team to do so

good bye stupid customer ^^
Wednesday, March 9th, 2005
5:53 pm
oh ooh oh im bursting with stupid customer stories.
hi im charlotte
ok so i work in a fruit shop. and we also sell this locally made sourdough. the bakery runs tues-sat...so we dont get bread on sun or mon. unfortunately, people cant read signs - each type of bread has a specific sign showing the nutritional value, how it is made, and WHAT DAYS IT IS AVAILABLE. but, as i previously mentioned, people can read. so this woman comes in on a sunday, saying 'oh you sell bread here dont you?' i reply 'yes but it is only delivered tues thru sat' and she goes 'so why dont you have any?' 'coz it doesnt get delivered today' 'but todays sunday' 'exactly'
she still doesnt get it. oh my god.
this is not the worst customer ive had but still fairly annoying, just for the way she stands in front of me staring at me blankly like im speaking some other language. like im the one thats wrong. grrr. oh i have many and varied stories. i just cant wait to work in a dead end office job staring at a computer screen all day - in everyday life i attract loons and that must be tripled the minute i start work. sigh.
loon magnet.
Tuesday, March 8th, 2005
9:04 pm
i have so many fantastic tales of my overly long time in retail - ack they'd melt your face as bernard black would say... yep he knows how to deal with annoying customers XDD

i present an alarm system that is broken and enjoys going off at random~

& your's truely is on till cover, which is fantastic!... it just makes you want to rip out your heart and throw it at the manager along with your letter of resignation...

anyway the alarm system is going off and i have this stupid bitch of a customer who assumes i must have left tags on my last customers' purchases +_+ i ignore her and she repeats herself. i roll my eyes and tell her the system is broken then she whittles on about how SHE WOULD ABSOLUTELY DIE IF THE ALARM WENT OFF WHILST SHE WENT OUT THE DOOR.... i'm trying not to laugh and stab her with the nearest available clothes hanger.... but i'm also tempted and i think i might indulge myself by slipping a little security tag into her bag whilst she rummaging around for her credit card in her purse ^___________^
the transactions goes through she waffles off and makes a wonderful beeping sound as she heads out the door and she turns round bright red to which i shout back the system is still broken :P
& we never saw that particular customer ever again ^^ x

Current Mood: chipper
Monday, March 7th, 2005
1:17 am
How Being Born Works
"Yeah, we buy those in, you can trade them for a store voucher since you're under eighteen. I'll make you a membership... [tap tap tap] What's your date of birth?"
- "Huh?..."
"Your date of birth?.."
- "..."
"Umm, when's your birthday?"
- "Thirteenth of June."
"Okay, and what year were you born?"
- "1985."
"Right, so that's your 'date of birth'."
- "Oh."

I dare say London's youth has become no brighter since my retail stint, 2000-2001.
Sunday, March 6th, 2005
3:56 pm
I'm standing next to a cashier, waiting to go home, when two teenage male youths walk into the store, baseball caps et all.

Youth #1: "'Ave you got any, like, old ladies tights?"

Cashier: "What colour tights?"

(youths look visably nervous)

Youth #2: "Errrrr, I dunno. Just, like, old ladies colour."

Our theory was perhaps they needed some as disguise for when they decided to rob the local supermarket.
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